I am so tired of coping with life. It seems like society is built on coping strategies, and not so much else. Happiness becomes this abstract goal that we can never truly reach, because all we know how to do, is to cope.
When we grow up without the right type of emotional support and guidance, and are not able to find closure or solutions to our painful experiences, we have to find strategies in order to cope with those experiences and to move on. If we don’t do this as children, we don’t stand a chance, so there is no choice. Therefore it is understandable and probably a very important mechanism when growing up. The problem is that we are unaware of our own strategies, and so we continue using them in our adult life…
We experience how the same patterns with the same problems keep coming back to us. This is confusing, because many times we think that we’re actually dealing with our problems in a solution based way, when we’re in fact still using the same coping strategies, as we always have been using. It’s one of the most frustrating things to experience, thinking that we have dealt with something, just to having it knock us down once again. Having those experiences makes ME want to give up sometimes. Seeing how people are so affected by this and how hopeless it makes them feel, that hurts my heart deeply. It’s a never ending chase of how to be happy. We might have a small glimpse of happiness sometimes when we’re lucky, but happiness as a goal can never be a reality, if we live our lives based on how to cope with it.
Just the word coping tells us, that there is something we don’t want in our life but we just have to deal with, and then find a way on how to actually do that. This is how our society functions as well. Take our healthcare system, what it does is treating the symptom (with medications and so on), it doesn’t get to the root of the actual problem. It is coping with the problem.
Why are we even living? That’s the question I ask myself. Why would I want to live a life that I have to cope with? The answer to that question is I don’t.
I want to live a life where I know, that I can actually address my problems directly and consciously (painful experiences or whatever they may be), in order to create solutions and restore harmony in that area of my life. My goal is to live a life that I’m happy living, and with that comes the knowing that I can create resolutions.
Most people are not aware of the fact that they have a choice, because they didn’t as children. A choice to actually create healing, and a choice to not having to cope with their lives in order to survive it.
We are not taught how to do this, and it is not easy. It takes a deep level of commitment to live this way, because it requires of us to face our fears and to dare be with our pain, and whatever else that we haven’t been able to deal with, from our past. It’s the path of self awareness, a path more and more people are feeling a desire to walk on, because coping with life becomes too painful.
I don’t want to cope with life, I want to experience it. I want to actually live.