Coping With Life


I am so tired of coping with life. It seems like society is built on coping strategies, and not so much else. Happiness becomes this abstract goal that we can never truly reach, because all we know how to do, is to cope.

When we grow up without the right type of emotional support and guidance, and are not able to find closure or solutions to our painful experiences, we have to find strategies in order to cope with those experiences and to move on. If we don’t do this as children, we don’t stand a chance, so there is no choice. Therefore it is understandable and probably a very important mechanism when growing up. The problem is that we are unaware of our own strategies, and so we continue using them in our adult life…

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Sun and Moon; restoring the balance

solar eclipse

Since the solar eclipse I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety, but without really being able to place it or figure out why. This solar eclipse in Leo has been all about integration and unity.

In the last month I’ve been seeing lions everywhere, and been hearing or seeing the word, “Leo” several times. I’ve seen it as tattoos, one with a lion and a woman merging and becoming one. I’ve heard the name Leo twice within the same hour and the list goes on. I knew this solar eclipse would have some great insight for me, as I believe it has for so many. It has been a very powerful time, also very chaotic…

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Grow Together


What do I really want? I’ve noticed that for a long time now, my number one priority has been to feel connected and have a sense of belonging. It’s only within this past week though, that I’ve truly come to the awareness, that I have to give this desire a more active role in my life…

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Integrating My Shadow Aspect

Shadow aspect

The past two years have been such a rollercoaster. It has had the highest of high and the lowest of low. I’ve been extremely happy at times, and I’ve been extremely depressed, to the point where I could not see the meaning of life anymore.

The last month I’ve been feeling sad, confused and on the verge of depression again. Life has not been feeling good. Life has not made sense, and even though I know that life is a hologram in which we learn, and that even the dark night of the soul will eventually end, I have simply not felt like it was worth it. But then, a couple of days ago, I had a breakthrough. I gained a new understanding that made the pieces I’ve collected over the years, come together and form a picture that actually makes sense to me…

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Open To Life


A couple of weeks ago, me and one of my best friends decided to travel to London for a few days. I’ve been feeling drawn to that place for about 2 years, and it felt awesome when I finally had the chance to make this trip a reality. I did not know what to expect, I just felt destiny calling and I was excited to figure out what this was all about…

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What Is Your Purpose?


Since I was young I have been wondering about my purpose. In my teen years I spend a lot of time searching for it, but without ever really finding it. It was a great deal of stress to me. I tried one job after another, and I tried out many different educations as well, but without ever having that Heureka moment, that I was so desperately trying to have. This year I came to a realization, and it made me stop chasing my purpose, for the first time in my life.

The realization was this; I’ve been searching for my purpose (to the point where it was painful) because I needed it in order to validate my existence…

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Emotional Starvation


Some days I feel a deep, inner void that makes me feel completely empty. It’s a part of me that needs attention and care, but does not get it. It is starving.

Emotional starvation is something all of us have experienced at some point in our lives. It is when a need is not being met, and that part of us goes unnoticed. That aspect is suffering to the degree, that it feels like it’s dying. When we are unaware of this aspect of ourselves, the feeling of desperation completely takes over, and because of this many of us seek to fulfill the need in unhealthy ways…

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Waking Up From The Illusion


We live in a society today that is far from fully evolved.
We live in a society that needs change, and I think the earth is taking us in that direction.

The structure of modern society doesn’t allow people to express themselves as who they are or want to be. We are expected to act according to the rules that are within society, and fit into the category of being normal. We are expected to all move in the same direction, having the same experience, and to not think outside the box. We are expected to follow order, not to follow our own internal guidance system. I believe that this is no longer causing expansion on earth, and so it is preparing us for a massive change, whether we like it or not…

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I Am Not To Be Defined

roseWe live in a world today where everything and everyone has to be defined as something we already know. I feel this need myself. It is easier, and it gives a sense of certainty when we judge people to be or act a certain way.
Im starting to realize, how much of an impact and control my physical appearance have had on me, and still has to some degree.

I have never really felt a sense of belonging anywhere, at any point in my life. When I look back on my teenage years, I see a girl desperately trying to find a place to fit in. To fit in somewhere indicates that we have to fulfill a certain standard, which means we have to look a certain way, act a certain way, speak a certain way and so on. This also means that we are not being our true selves…

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Trust Fall


When you reach out and are not caught, that is really painful. It is especially painful when you do not know, how to make what you need clear to your surroundings.

This past week I have been feeling my whole body buzzing, but as an internal feeling. I didn’t know why, but I was definitely not at ease.

I felt hopeless because I was not able to identify what was wrong, and looking at my outer reality, I could sense that something was off as well. My sister, my dad and my dog got sick. Nothing serious, but with that dis-ease in them as well.

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