A while ago a met a person that ended up having a big impact on me. I remember feeling the chemistry being there right away, it was almost as if I already knew him. It was so easy for me to communicate my thoughts and feelings without being afraid of being judged, something I wasn’t used to at that point in my life. He made me feel so safe in his company, like I could do or say anything I wanted to. I very quickly felt a deep connection with him, and as it usually takes a while before I start feeling that with someone, I knew this was special. It was amazing to me that I so easily, and without even trying, accepted all of him. It was without that feeling of wanting something to change about him, and not because I thought he was perfect, because I didn’t, but because I appreciated his entire being.
I read a very inspiring quote this morning and it has been stuck with me since. I thought I knew what it meant to receive love, but today is the first time I actually really feel the meaning of it.
My whole life I have been playing everything safe. I was very emotional as a child, but as I got older I stopped showing and even feeling my emotions. I have always been very careful of how I expressed my emotions, not just romantically, but in every aspect of my life. I have been shielding myself from the outside and I see now how the limitations have been surrounding me for so long, my own creations, holding me down. There are so many experiences in my life where I haven’t been able to take in the good energy of joy and happiness, because those feelings don’t go very well with the limitations and restrictions I have been creating to be by my side everywhere I go.
Today I woke up with an intense headache, sore throat and just an overall feeling of sickness. I’ve been having trouble sleeping for a couple of months now, so I also felt unbelievably tired. Later on that day I was chatting with a friend on Facebook. She was getting ready to visit a guy she has been dating for a little while now. He’s also sick, so she wanted to take care of him by bringing him soup. I felt how badly I wanted someone to bring me soup as well, that is such a nice gesture!
Yesterday when I was trying to fall asleep, I had an epiphany. It was a moment of complete clarity of which direction to follow. It was a strong but calm feeling, and I knew that it was my intuition guiding me.
Yesterday I wrote a post about whether I know myself or not. Today when I logged on my Facebook, the first thing I see is a quote by Teal Swan, “You can only be authentic to the degree that you currently know yourself”. I smiled because of the synchronicity and felt the truth of that statement, and I wanted to share it with you:)
Synchronicity always makes me feel happy, because it is the signs of the magic in this world. It’s so awesome!
Sometimes I feel like no one knows who I am. Not even myself. It can be really frustrating to feel this way and very lonely at times.
I started thinking about this today after having a conversation with my mother. I don’t remember why we started talking about this, but she said that my sister is more authentic or easier to figure out. I am more complex and hard to read. And I absolutely agree with that. I feel like I have so many walls around me that I am not able to see. The problem is that these walls are not only preventing me from getting hurt or too close to others, they are also blocking my view of myself. I don’t know who I am behind those walls really.
What is my life purpose? A question most of us ask ourselves. What is it I am meant to do and create in this lifetime?
I have been trying to figure this out since I was a child. I have always felt like I was meant to do something, but without knowing exactly what it was. All I knew was that it had to involve helping other people. After years of brainstorming, I decided that I wanted to study to become a nurse, and I have been doing that for over 2 years now.
Today when I woke up and looked outside my window, I was greeted by a beautiful view. Everything was covered by a white layer of snow, and it looked so peaceful. I got inspired to go for a run through a forest nearby.
Lately it seems like a big theme among people are the feeling of being stuck. It is as if we are being given a choice on whether to continue on the path we are already on, or to consciously choose another. How this visually looks like to me, is that I am walking on a straight road that suddenly splits into two different roads, one turning left, the other turning right. In the middle of what is now a crossroads is a sign. On the sign there is an arrow pointing in one direction with the word ”certainty” written on it, and an arrow pointing the opposite direction with the word ”uncertainty”.
Last year (sounds like it’s such a long time ago) I feared the month December. It is the most miraculous time of year, filled with joy and laughter everywhere we turn, and that is exactly what I was afraid of. I hadn’t felt joy or happiness when waking up in the morning for a long time. Instead I felt lonely and hopeless. I feared the thought of facing the energy that December holds, because it felt impossible for me to be present with any sort of happy emotion. Everyone around me seemed to suddenly be in a romantic relationship, with people that loved them. I was afraid that I would see others being happy and being in loving relationships, as a proof to my loneliness and as a proof to me being absolutely miserable. But to my surprise I felt the exact opposite of what I feared.