In the last 7 months or so, I have been having days where I have felt intense emotional pain, that seemed to come out of nowhere.
I’m currently in the state of awakening to the truth of what this pain is, and to understand why it keeps coming back…
It is the feeeling of loneliness by not being recognized in my pain. It is the feeling of isolation knowing, that no one will ever truly understand my pain. The reason why no one will ever understand my pain is because they have not lived my life, they have not experienced what I have experienced, with my perspective.
When we explain a painful situation to someone else, they will only get a tiny idea of what that pain is like. There’s so much more going on beneath the surface, whether we recognize it or not. That pain is a cut in an already open wound, that have never really seemed to heal. So when we try to explain our pain to someone else, they won’t be getting the full story, and that might cause us to feel alone with our pain.
I have wondered why this wound of mine keeps hurting, no matter what I do. Sometimes I feel like the wound has healed, but I then quickly realize, that it hasn’t.
It can feel like we have a war going on inside of us at times, and that’s because we have.
A lot of us spend so much time trying to heal ourselves, trying to let go of pain, I know I have.
What I’ve realized is that every time we do this, we are abandoning ourselves. The pain is a part of who we are. The pain is there to be accepted. If we do not accept our pain, we do not accept ourselves.
Instead of trying to escape our internal war or conflict of how we feel, maybe it is the letting go of resistance of feeling pain, accepting what is, that sets us free.
Many of us strive to feel a sense of wholeness.
Wholeness is acceptance of who you are, as you are, in this very moment.