Since the solar eclipse I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety, but without really being able to place it or figure out why. This solar eclipse in Leo has been all about integration and unity.
In the last month I’ve been seeing lions everywhere, and been hearing or seeing the word, “Leo” several times. I’ve seen it as tattoos, one with a lion and a woman merging and becoming one. I’ve heard the name Leo twice within the same hour and the list goes on. I knew this solar eclipse would have some great insight for me, as I believe it has for so many. It has been a very powerful time, also very chaotic…
Last night before going to sleep, I asked that my subconscious mind would reveal to me what kind of shift I’m in, and why I’m feeling so anxious.
This night I actually did have a dream that revealed some new insights, and I’ve just finished analyzing it. I felt inspired to share it, as I feel many of us are going through a similar process right now.
This new awareness of myself had to be delivered to me in the dream state, because I wasn’t in a place to perceive the truth elsewhere.
In my dream I was walking on a path next to a lake. Across the lake there was a bridge, but it didn’t reach all the way to the side I was standing on, it only reached to the middle of the lake.
For some reason, I knew that on the other side of the lake, the “evil people” lived. And on the side that I was on, the “good people” lived. It was like a movie with heroes and villains.
I met a young girl and asked her for direction to the other side. She told me that I had to go all the way around the lake. I was very determined to get there as fast as possible and somehow I manifested a bike. I was now standing on the bridge, and within a couple of seconds I took out a grenade from my pocket and I threw it at the end of the bridge. I threw my bicycle in the water and then jumped in myself, all signs of me being there had to be destroyed. I saw the fire spreading on the water surface. At this point it felt like time stood still. I was watching the fire while thinking of letting it hit me, to figure out what would happen… if anything would happen. But in the last second I chose to dive under the water and hide. I felt the pressure underneath the surface and a lot of things were hitting me as the bridge exploded. I was filled up with adrenaline.
I woke up after this in the same state that I am in, in the dream, and I felt very anxious.
Analyzing this dream I realize, that one aspect within myself, is at war with another aspect that it feels threatened by. The me in the dream sees itself as the “good one”, but are actually the one creating chaos and war. This aspect is in denial of itself and its intentions. It is justifying its own actions by making “the others” villains and making itself “the hero”.
The bridge symbolizes integration. It symbolizes that the “villains” in this dream are actually the ones reaching out as a way of offering peace to “the other side”. The me in this dream is so afraid of what is “other”. It is in a perpetual state of fear and defense and because of that, it is not capable of perceiving “the others” as being anything but evil. The only option “the me” has (in its own perspective) is to destroy “the enemy”, and thereby making a reunion/integration impossible; making itself feel safe again.
This new awareness inspired me to do a meditation. I wanted to connect with this aspect of myself that is so afraid of what it perceives as others. What I connected with was an aspect that could not think straight because it was too busy defending itself, trying to keep itself from harm. What I also saw was that it protected a more vulnerable aspect, but was hurting that aspect in the process. I got through to the protector self after a little while, and I let it know that it did not need to protect anymore, it could let go, and it did. I was able to integrate the two aspect of myself, the protector and the vulnerable self, so as to became a whole again. Like the sun and the moon, two very different aspects but together they create the perfect balance. They need each other, and now they have just that.
I feel that a lot of people right now are being called to integrate the fragmented aspects within themselves, as a way to create unity within their own being. And as a lot of people are aware of at this point in time, when we make changes within ourselves, that will reflect in our external world. Creating unity and harmony within ones own being IS to create unity and harmony in the world at large.
I’m amazed of how this solar eclipse brought unity within me. I’m sure this will be a very dominant theme in my life now, as I’m sure it will for many; restoring the balance.