The Most Liberating Feeling

image I have always been a very private person and I never thought I would be able to start writing a blog. If you asked me a year ago if I would ever share my deepest thoughts publicly, I would have said no and probably laughed as well, because the thought of it was too terrifying for me to even consider.

I remember when I was teenager I would always convince myself that I liked being a very private person. That I liked the fact that only a few people knew the real me, and that I decided who I wanted those people to be. The funny thing is that the people closest to me have always been the extroverted and the artistic ones. The types of people that really enjoyed sharing with everyone else. Opposite attract as I used to think (as it often seems like). The thing is that according to the law of attraction, like attracts like, and not the other way around. I am aware of now that the reason why I was a match to these ”types” of people, was because they had a side to them that fascinated me, a side that I wish I had too. As I know now, it was a suppressed aspect of myself, that begged to come to the surface. Because of the self-exploratoin I have been doing the last year or so, I am now able to share more and more about myself, and in different ways. It is very exiting to me, because I used to be so private to the point where many of my thoughts were never shared with anyone.

Yesterday I read an article about relationships, and the following really hit me.

“To take this to an even higher level, ideally we want to be partnering with someone who is aligned with our life purpose, supporting us to authentically express our gifts and deepest passions so that our lives are rich and meaningful. This way of living is energizing and fuels us. That way, the relationship is not a source of energy, but rather a place to share ourselves”.

I have never shared myself completely with another person because of the fear of rejection. It has been much easier for me to stay closed off, so that if someone didn’t like me, at least I knew that because they didn’t know the real me, that real me wasn’t the one being rejected. With that wall I was able to protect myself from feeling unworthy and not good enough, feelings so many of us struggle with. But because of my fear of rejection, and my way of defending myself by not letting people in, that has now created a desire for me to share a whole lot about myself. The feeling of going from being absolutely closed off and terrified of sharing myself with others, to the feeling of sharing my deepest thoughts with the knowing that my worth is not dependent on others opinion about me, is the most liberating feeling I have ever experienced. I have even started an Instragram (a month back or so) and a Twitter account, once again something I never thought I would be able to do. When I got Facebook many years back, I didn’t even create the account myself. My (at that time) close friend made it for me, after some time I was glad she did, but at first it was uncomfortable because it was so out of my comfort zone.

I am so happy you took the time to read this post, thank you!

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23 Comments

  1. How brave of you!! 😊💖. I have always been the opposite of what you say, I kind of give it all right away, so that if people don’t like to be around me they can leave right away 😊😊. Like get the rejection over with right away 😊. I have scared a few people away, and I have been taken advantage of, but I still prefer it this way, even though I have learned to hold a few delicate things back. 😊

  2. I love that you are sharing more and more of yourself here, Sascha! I can literally “see” you growing in leaps and bounds, like a young sapling finding her place in the world, growing stronger and more graceful with each passing day. You are a treasure! 🙂

  3. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, sweet one.

    I am the extrovert here, yet treasure my alone times too. Yet never gave myself very much of that even though it is essential to fueling my creativity too. I have filled my life with children and a series of lovers and lots of busy work. And have found just showing my own vulnerability touches the hearts and souls of people is so beneficial, as is finding my partner who does fuel my imagination, yet since he is the invisible Prince from the Golden Island, he is on yet another extended journey of learning and stabilizing without me, which is hard. But this too shall pass.

    Reading fairy tales again is one of the ways of nurturing my soul and setting my childish spirit free. May your path be sprinkled with rose petals, if you so choose.

      1. So I just noticed your background photo is of the balloon festival, is that New Mexico? Because I was raised there. That is a beautiful photo, wonderful site. Blessings. This looks exactly like the Rio Grande Gorge by Taos. My daughter used to live about five miles from there.

  4. I like the way you combine pictures with story, and your search for honesty and meaning is a search we all make, and all who make it find at least some of both things, I think…

  5. I never thought I would write a blog either. I am so happy that you are opening up and dis-covering yourself.

  6. Wonderful post. For reference to understanding and creating a great relationship with someone try reading Bruce lipton and his book the honeymoon effect. It give an amazing insight into finding out about ourselves and love.

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