The year of 2018 actually brings me hope of happiness. I have a feeling that everything that I’ve experienced in my past, and especially in the last three years of my life, they will finally start making sense – like a lot! I’ve been in a vicious cycle (very painful most of the time) and for every year it would be more and more intense, and with that more and more unbearable.
The last period of 2017, I really felt how the universe was taking away the last “things” in my life that no longer served me. Changes like that are never easy or even welcomed, but they are necessary.
It made me feel like giving up and that I couldn’t continue like this forever. It felt like panic and chaos, but then for some reason, it shifted. I’m not sure what happened exactly, but somehow I felt the shift and felt much more calm, and with that everything started to clear up…
In my recent blogpost (The Element Of Fire) I express how I’m integrating the element of fire within me. I think this is a big reason to why I feel this shift and that it feels right. Integrating this aspect feels like aligning with my soul mission. I’m still in a process of integration on a deeper level, and I can feel and see both in my inner and outer world, that this will create a huge shift in me in the positive direction.
When I think about it, everything in my life seems to be connected with this repressed side of myself.
Realizations like this, is like finding a key that can unlock the door to your hidden potential. The potential being the missing piece, a huge piece in fact, that when collected will show you who you were always meant to become in this life. I feel like this is the energy and potential of this year for everyone, and that is really exciting!
I’m the kind of person who loves symbolism. I love analyzing and I find it to be a great way to self-discovery. As I’m figuring out more about the fire element and what it represents within me, I’ve noticed that some of the ailments I sometimes experience, they fit in well with this aspect of me being repressed.
.. I sometimes experience intense pain in my solar plexus area always followed by fever. I’ve been to many different doctors, and none of them understand what is going on, in fact they tell me that my symptoms make no sense.
The solar plexus chakra represents one’s sense of self and confidence (among others), all traits that relates to the element of fire. The fever, which is heat, is also a symbol of fire.
A couple of days ago I wanted to communicate with my fire element in a different way than I have tried before, and it turned out really well. I closed my eyes and tried to bring forth the fire element in me. I had a pen and paper, and I wanted to write down what this aspect of me wanted to say. And so I did, in the form of intuitive writing. I wrote with my left hand, as I find it easier to let go of my own perspective in that way. What was written was this:
- The fire is what I want, but can never have.
- The fire is who I want to be, but cannot be.
If I was always meant to be someone with dominant fire traits in my personality, like passion and drive, it makes total sense to me that I experience pain in the area that represents my sense of identity. Because my sense of identity has not been allowed to be fully experienced by me. My sense of identity has been hidden away, for a very long time. And my body is reacting to that now, because it does not express itself authentically. I am not letting myself be expressed the way I was meant to.
I will end this post with a metaphor from an article I read yesterday about the energy forecast for 2018, as it is in absolute perfect alignment with how I feel this year will be like for me, and for so many others.
“When a caterpillar changes into a butterfly, it is dissolved into a primordial genetic soup. The caterpillar’s tissues are disintegrated. This is a destruction of the caterpillar that once was. But inherent in the primordial genetic soup, (just like a person’s soul purpose remains like a blue print no matter what is happening in their physical life) the blueprint for the butterfly that is meant to become remains unaltered. And then, the protein rich soup that was once tissue, begins to be called into alignment with that blueprint. The blueprint of the butterfly calls the disintegration of cells into organized form. A building process begins. A building of all the structures necessary for a butterfly to be. This is the phase of change brought by 2018.”
Forecast for Year 2018: https://tealswan.com/teals-
I will be writing more about this integration, as there is still great depth for me to explore and understand.